I digress, what I really decided to talk about was this theory of being overweight because "we" must feel we are unworthy. Just another label to slap on someone that society feels is socially unacceptable? An "o that must be why" kind of answer?
I disagree slightly with that theory. I think most people’s weight loss journey is deeply personal. Although we all may have similar stories of eating habits, feelings, and results of such, our individual issues are ours alone. Now that's not to say that a person can't empathize or have gone through something similar but people react to situations differently. For instance, 2 children can grow up in an abusive home, equally abused, they share the same stories, they understand the same pain, however their emotional makeup and the way they handle the situations may be vastly different, 1 may become an abuser, while the other becomes passive, 1 may turn to drugs while the other may turn to food. So it's very important to understand that what you may feel and what another may feel is going to be unique to that individual.
A lot of times I hear the epitaph "you are worthy" or "you are deserving" which in my mind somehow implies I do not think I am worthy or deserving. On the contrary that is why things are so hard for me. I KNOW I am worthy and deserving of more than this crap of a life I have. However, I am first and foremost a realist. After almost 41 years of life, I see my life for what it is and no amount of sugar coating and glossing over it is going to change it. To put it simply. It is what it is. The issue of being worthy of something does not enter my mind. I know I’m worthy of a lot of things, does that necessarily mean I will get them? No. I believe I’m worthy of a million dollars, will I open my bank account and have it in there? I doubt it. I believe these are 2 separate issues. Am I worthy of losing weight? Sure I am. Do I get tired of the struggles? Do I get overwhelmed by stress? Yes I do. When skinny people get stressed, they eat too!! Does that mean they feel they are unworthy or undeserving of something? Do we put that label on them?
The issue in some cases of overeating is comfort. Some people choose drugs, some sex, some hide in books, some in exercise, some retreat from life altogether. How we deal with our stresses is a choice. In some cases an unconscious choice but a choice none the less. Just because I have food dreams, just because I find comfort in books, food, exercise and isolation does not mean I think I am less of a person and unworthy. It just means that this is where I find my comfort to help me get through my day. That I’m possibly, more than likely, depressed. Do I always give in to it? No. Sometimes feelings are there for a moment or a time when they are useful. They are a distraction from the pain or stress of whatever it is that ails me. When I blog and say I want to eat. I feel out of control, I'm craving this or that. I say that because that is what I’m feeling at that moment and that's what this is about, gaining control of the feelings, acknowledging them allowing them to wash over and out so that I am better able to control them.
If I honestly said I felt unworthy of anything it would most likely be love and or affection. Even then I can't honestly say I feel unworthy of it, more so just distrustful. I'm not sure I really believe it when it is presented to me. However if there was anything, I would honestly and humbly say that was it. Now when I’m feeling that, I don't want to eat, just the opposite, I am unable to eat and want to hide, I feel like I am dying inside. I know o to well what it feels like to feel you’re unworthy of something. For me though, it’s not about feeling unworthy to lose weight, now stress eating. THAT I can identify with!
Do you feel unworthy of anything? What do you do about it? Do you think your eating habits make a difference in that feeling?
